Like a muffled fart in the middle of the night
Are efforts to conceal by the-not-so-very-bright.
Such gas will asphyxiate one’s own bed fellow
When concealed and trapped by someone so callow.
Beware of the suave and perfumed rabble, who think
Why not torture one’s own lover with one’s own stink!
The truth will be out, circulate and become well known:
In bed lies a body more lifeless than a stone.
Choose your friends well, and in all matters of the heart
Who you sleep with demands that you play it smart.
The rub is, one will never know this divine truth
Without suffering attraction for the uncouth.
Darvish does not often pass out such pure advice:
Wear to bed a gas mask or some such like device.