Darvish Khan Writes

With Chairman Bao‘s passing and the unceremonious end of the Kool-Chewy Dynasty, the Jai Ho Internet Chat Club made a valiant effort to continue the Chairman’s legacy of media exposure through Chat events.  However, the same depths of self serving absurdity were impossible to achieve and interest has sputtered.

Print Friendly

The Three Rings Lineage, deriving from Mahasiddhi Chairman Bao as the first Patriarch of a transmission originating with the Maitreya Buddha, is based in Hawaii on a pineapple fruitcake farm. Little is known about this esoteric lineage other than the simple assertion that Chairman Bao crapped it out as a golden egg, so to speak. The magical powers of the Chairman have been attested to by his many devotees, who consider him a Perfect Master.

Print Friendly

The Queens represented the plenipotentiary powers of Chairman Bao. They were roving ambassadors of grace and aplomb. Their role was more public than the Mothers, but perhaps not as consequential. The political dynamic between the Mothers and the Queens is a fascinating study that awaits documentation and analysis. As graceful and eloquent as were the Queens, so were the Mothers powerful and cunning.

Print Friendly

The Mothers were elect members of the Jai Ho Club. They were those most responsible for the welfare of Chairman Bao. They attended to his more private needs. The exact number of Mothers involved in ministering to the Chairman is veiled by the curtain of domestic privacy. (They are disambiguated from the Queens, who deserve a separate entry.) The Mothers are perhaps the most important clue to the Chairman’s assumed role as “an innocent”: they allowed him to fully dramatize his guilelessness. The Chairman’s putative crucifixion was the fear of separation from the Mothers. Key Mothers held enormous power and were major political players in the Jai Ho Club.

Print Friendly

Perhaps the most enigmatic statements of Chairman Bao are his remarks on Yad Rakh. This phrase, which means “remember this”, was attributed to the Silent Master as the phrase with which he broke his long standing silence, which Chairman Bao alone was privileged to hear. Except that the story was later retracted with the clear-as-mud clarification that the Chairman heard this phrase in his head, not with his ears.

It has been suggested that Chairman Bao heard many things in his head that never had a verifiable referent. He would complain of his “crucifixion”, for example, although some have suggested that this refers to the forcible separation from his Mothers when admitted to hospital for tests.

Print Friendly

Jai Ho is the seed syllable mantra of the Jai Ho Club. The full version, which few can master, is Jai Ho Ko Ko Her Her Ho Ko Her Her Ko Ko Her Ho Ho Ho.  The etiology of Jai Ho suggests it is a corruption of Jai Baba as an act of willful and stupid substitution. The popularity of this mantra appears to be synchronous with the wearing of The Three Rings and demure regard for Chairman Bao.

Print Friendly